First Torah Tuesday in Nisan, I'm doing Joseph. I have two Joes on, and my middle name is Joe. So there's three of us: Joseph.
The next thing is a situation that comes up. It's called Devarim haNikarim. Devarim means recognizable signs. Nikar, Nikar means recognized. It turns out that in Hilchot Lashon Hara (negative speech), Klal Zayin, Halacha Yud, he examines this principle that we call Devarim haNikarim. And there's a story in the Gemara. It's in Shabbat, Nun Vav Amud Rishon, and it's about David HaMelech, who assumed that somebody—or heard that somebody was—not a good person. You notice I'm learning not to say “bad,” because I give this class every week. I wish I absorbed more of it. But not a good person. When he saw the person, he recognized external dishevelment and signs that might substantiate what he heard. So now that external sign of the man's appearance justified his belief in the story.
So the Chafetz Chaim addresses a case. We might think that because we have this story in the Gemara, and it seems to be, “Look, the guy is supposed to be this, and he looks like it.” You know, you can spot one a mile away. Or he said something in front of me that I heard, which makes me believe that, yes, he is a foul mouth, or he is a this, or he is a thief, or whatever. So the Chafetz Chaim says there is such a thing as Devarim haNikarim. And there is room in Halacha (Jewish law) for such a Heter (allowance). The problem is, it's not a blanket permissive rule. It's not an allowance for us to believe negative information when we say, “Look, you could tell.”
The Chafetz Chaim notes that this particular principle of Devarim haNikarim is something that, first of all, is limited by what we've learned several times here, and that I continue to bring up because it's called Lashon Hara, but it's always needed. It's called leto'elet. I know something firsthand; I know the facts. And I know that this is going to hurt another party. But if I don't tell him because of the laws of Lashon Hara, it's going to be damaged. It's going to be injured. It could be a Shidduch (marriage match) fact. It could be a business fact, hiring or partnership. There are a lot of ways, such as giving somebody a position on a committee or something. And I have to know something that would make it wrong to do. Well, I'm allowed to say that over, but it has to be leto'elet. We learned that the rules of to'elet, constructive purpose, were seven. I'm not going to go over them here, but it has to be truly verified, only the minimum should be said, and there must be firsthand knowledge. Those are three of the seven.
So if a person has a strong reason to suspect that, let's say, his son's friends are not exactly the type he'd like him to hang around with—again, I'm watching my words; you got the picture—a parent is permitted to warn his child to avoid bad company based on such evidence. He can do it with more conviction if he sees certain signs with his own eyes, or if they won't do the things they're accused of in front of him but he can tell that what he has heard is true. He's allowed to believe it because of what he saw firsthand. That's Devarim haNikarim: they testify to what he heard and allow him to do something to protect his son. So we've gone through the steps of, first of all, identifying that he heard a rumor. Then we said that he sees something about the one who was spoken about that seems to lead him to believe that it's true. So he can accept it. But now he can't use it or pass it on unless it's leto'elet, unless it is within the bounds of constructive negative speech, which is still Lashon Hara. It's Lashon Hara leto'elet, which he's permitted to do. And since he's verified it through two things—one, the rumor, and two, the way the person looks—he can, with more conviction, tell his son to be careful. Again, he has to minimize what he says; he has to say it in a way that maybe the person would react to, but it's still an opening for him to constructively use Devarim haNikarim.
Now, it's not a broad allowance, and it doesn't go based on what we call small talk, chatter, gossip. It has to be more than that. In other words, many people talk, and there's no basis for what they're saying, and then, you know, they hit the target by mistake. They're a machine gun of Lashon Hara, and the person they're talking about is one of the victims in the line of fire and happens to find out that it's true. The fact of the matter is, common Lashon Hara is asur (not allowed), when people pointedly or without any purpose discuss mistakes or negative personality traits about another.
Now, for example, let's say, inshallah (God willing), in the near future, people go back to all their offices. I know this is limited today. I've been to Manhattan a couple of times, and I see some offices are up and functioning, others are partial, and others are just closed down, with all this remote stuff. But let's say a person is walking by the coffee machine, or the water cooler, or the refrigerator where employees stock their lunches, and people are talking. To lean in to listen is not allowed. In the office, there's a lot of small talk that's not allowed. But when you hear something—and it might even be because you heard about the guy, and they're talking about him—leaning in and actively pursuing verification is not allowed. Don't bend your ear, it says in the word hat oznecha, to listen. You're not allowed to go and actively pursue the accumulation of negative information.
So we should know that a Jew should have no interest in hearing negatives about another. You shouldn't have an interest in it. What do you gain by knowing? There are certain people who use Lashon Hara as an ego trip. That's why the victims of Lashon Hara are very often the rabbi, the boss, the manager, or a good learner, even. Why? The person who cannot achieve through their own efforts the level that the other has reached decides to knock that down to a level where now there's some parity between the speaker and the person speaking. So if the rabbi spent his life studying Torah, and he spent his life in experiences with Torah, and he spent his life speaking about it to try and improve people, and somebody comes to a speech and says to himself—in his deep heart he's saying, “I could never be like that. It's just too much for me. I can't devote myself to so much learning. I can't limit my activities or my ta'avot, my desires, like he does.”
So what do they say? “What kind of speech was that? It was too long. It was too boring. I didn't like his examples. He doesn't know what he's talking about.” Now what happens? The guy you're speaking to in a negative fashion about the victim starts to see that your criticism puts you on a level where you are now the New York Times book review. You're a critic. You're valid. Now you pat yourself on the back and you say, “It worked.” Not allowed. Not allowed. A Jew should have no interest in hearing and should have no interest in passing on information they received unless that information is something that will prevent harm to another, and then we go back to the regular rules.
Now, it happens to be that very often we don't look at the conditions and we don't try to understand the basics. Again, what's very important to know about leto'elet is that it's usually something you know firsthand. I was there. I saw. I heard. I was witness to. I was victim of somebody's dishonesty. Somebody's bad middah (character trait). Somebody's medical situation that I have to know about firsthand. And all of this gets to step one of to'elet. To'elet means for positive purpose. For gain. So I just want to tell it over, even if I know it, even if I verify it, and even if I limit it to the least I can say. But still, if I pass that on, it's Lashon Hara. And if it's not leto'elet, then it's just pure and simple Lashon Hara. And pure and simple Lashon Hara is very expensive for the speaker, for the listener who accepts it as true, and could be very damaging and harmful to the victim. And that's why we meet here every week to discuss how to avoid these situations.
So again, today's lesson was Devarim haNikarim, things that are noticeable that might verify what I heard. I cannot use that to save somebody else from a problem; I can't use it; I can't accept it as fact. But I could use it leto'elet to save somebody else from harm, so long as I have all the other rules of leto'elet in place before I speak. Okay, we'll take a brief coffee break, and we'll be back to begin at 12 o'clock.