If you had a court case, you wouldn’t review with your lawyer what to say and what not to say? You wouldn’t look over the case? You wouldn’t know the details? You wouldn’t prepare a line of defense strategy? Of course you would.
So here’s one that I think is very effective in Shammai. Look, decide, commit, practically set yourself up, and even begin this process of saying to Hashem, “There are a lot of things in the world I want to change and can’t change. But at the very least, Hashem, I’m committing to trying to make the things I can’t change a little bit better.” Tomorrow morning, could I be a person who doesn’t have an anger issue? No. But I can make it a little bit better. I’m not Baal HaKochot Kulam (master of all powers). I’m less than Elohim. But I could try to do something that will make it a little bit better. I can’t stop speaking Lashon Hara (evil speech), but I can make it a little bit better.
I got a message from someone. I talked about not speaking Lashon Hara Rosh Hashanah (holiday), right before the holiday. She decided that was a great one. She was listening to it right before candle lighting. She printed out a sign for the table. It’s at the table on Rosh Hashanah. It says, “We are not speaking Lashon Hara at this table on Rosh Hashanah.” They put the printed sign on the table. And you know what happened? People started speaking Lashon Hara. What did she do? “Sorry.” She pointed at the sign. It feels like this conversation is heading at different points in the meal. Everyone else held the sign up to everybody else. Did they solve the problem? No. Probably, the rest of her life will not go by without speaking Lashon Hara. But she showed Borei Olam (Creator of the world). She’s trying.