How to talk to people. This is not from me; this is from Mesilat Yesharim, le-Ramchal. How to talk to people. So he writes, “When we speak to people, our rabbis teach us, ‘Talk pleasantly to people.’” And notice, it has nothing to do with anybody. Any person you encounter, talk pleasantly. Nobody wants to, oh, relax and relax. Talk pleasantly. And you have to understand that. You know? Talk nicely. People like to hear a nice word. “How are you? How are you doing? Hope all is well.” You understand what I'm saying? The way you talk should be in an honorable way, a dignified way, and not a way of disgracing. Don't talk negatively about people.
A guy comes for dinner. His wife made him a whole dinner. His mother made him a whole thing. “Oh, this is cold. I can't get it right. I don't understand.” Whoa, whoa, one second. One second, one second. First of all, you're lucky you have a wife. Second of all, if your mother cooks, you're lucky you have a mother. And third of all, she just made you a whole thing. That's the first thing, that's the first thing you say: “Oh, it's cold.” You understand what I'm saying? The Torah is so perfect. And even when you're talking to people, it's telling you how to act. You ever see such a Torah? Amazing Torah. He's quoting—he's quoting Kohelet, where he says... He's quoting the rabbi's teaching. How do you do that? You always got to look at life positively. Don't take anything for granted. And if you do that, you're going to be in trouble. And if you do it like that, then everything that you do, everything that you do, automatically your whole mindset will change. You'll always be happy because you're always seeing things in a positive way. At least, think about it. At least you have a wife cooking you dinner. Do you have a wife that's cooking you dinner? Now, what do you look at? “Oh, honey, come on, right? All right. One night, two nights, the dinner is fine. Come on, come on, relax.” Okay, you talk nice. You know, by the way, dinner is always amazing. Maybe, maybe just put a little bit more salt. Different ways of saying it. There's different ways of saying it. There's different ways of saying it. You know, and this is really one of the ways. That is how to talk to people. And there's a lot, there's a lot of that.
Sometimes a person is also negative; the whole thing is negative, negative. It's wrong. It's a wrong attitude. Think about the positive, what you have. Don't know what you don't have. Yeah, you're right, you don't have that. But look what you do have, and whatever you have, it outweighs everything else that you don't have. You should just know that. Whatever you don't have outweighs whatever you—whatever you're thinking about. And therefore a person has to understand: when he's speaking, speak benachat. Speak comfortable. And even when he's saying hello to people, it doesn't just say hello. So even when he's greeting somebody, say hi. The way you say hi, even the way you smile to people. “Hi, how are you? Show me your teeth a little bit. Hi, how are you?” And this is the Duran speaking about how, if you give a person a smile, it automatically changes the enzymes within the person. It feels, “Wow, he said hello to me.” It makes him feel real good. That's what it is.
And therefore a person has to understand: learn from the Rabbis how to talk. Learn from the Rabbis how to talk.