We continue our series on family life through the lenses of Mishlei and the wisdom of Shlomo HaMelech. Today, we will discuss a Pasuk (verse) in Perek (chapter) Chaf-Dalet (twenty-four), Pasuk (verse) Chaf-Tet (twenty-nine). Shlomo HaMelech says, which means: “As he has done to me, so will I do to him. I will repay back this man according to what he did to me.” Shlomo HaMelech says, And this Pasuk tells us how the nature of a person is to take revenge against someone who did him wrong.
When someone you know has wronged you and done something against you, the natural reaction is: “He did that to me. Wait till he sees what I am going to do”—to take revenge and pay him back for his deeds. Shlomo HaMelech says, “Do not do so. Do not say, ‘Just like he did that to me, I am going to do the same to him. He spoke against me. He ridiculed me. He embarrassed me. I am going to do the same to him. He is going to get a taste of what he did to me. He is going to get a taste of the pain that he caused me. I am going to do exactly the same thing to him.’” Shlomo HaMelech says, “My dear friend, don’t say that. Don’t live with that type of attitude.”
Don’t allow the actions of others to make your actions evil. Don’t allow other people’s corruptions to corrupt your personality, to corrupt your character. Because if that happens, it means they have taken control of you. You are no longer in control of yourself. You are acting in ways that you know you would never want to act. As a matter of fact, you are so upset at your friend for doing that to you, and here you are, finding yourself wanting to do the same to him. You’ve lost control of yourself. You have let him manage your emotions. You are letting him take control of your actions. And that is the saddest part of all this. Is it not enough that you had to deal with his ridicule and embarrassment? But now you want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he is in control of you. He is taking control of your actions and your emotions and your feelings. Is he making you evil, just like him?
Shlomo HaMelech says, “Don’t do that to yourself.” “I am going to pay him back the way he did to me.” Because, says Shlomo HaMelech, that is not winning the battle. That does not make you a winner. If anything, there is no greater way to be a loser than to be or act in such a way. That means you have lost control of yourself. It is he who is dictating how you act. It is he who is deciding how you are and how you behave. He is in control of you. He has the control panel on your emotions, on your actions, on your conduct and behavior, making you corrupt, making you evil, because he is evil. Shlomo HaMelech says that is a very, very sad thing to do. Rather, you must rise above all this. You must make sure that you are the one who is in control of your emotions. You be above him. You be above him. You be greater than him. You be more royal than him. Therefore, do not pay him back what he did to you. Do not lower yourself to his evil standards. Do not lower yourself to his corrupt ways. Rise above them. Be better than him. Be greater than him. With that, you will have full control of your emotions. You will have full control of your emotions, not allowing another person to control you. Rather, you are in full control. Have a wonderful day.