We continue our series on family life through the lenses of Mishlei and the wisdom of Shlomo HaMelech alav hashalom (peace be upon him). Today we will discuss two Pesukim (verses) in Perek Gimel, Pasuk Yud Alef and Yud Bet. Shlomo HaMelech says, which means: “My child, do not despise Hashem’s discipline, Hashem’s rebuke, Hashem’s affliction that He brings upon you. And do not be disgusted or repulsed with His reproof. For Hashem admonishes the one He loves. And like a father, He appeases his child.”
Shlomo HaMelech, in these two Pesukim, is directing his words to one who feels afflicted and pained by HaKadosh Baruch Hu (The Holy One, blessed be He). Shlomo HaMelech tells this person, “Remember, you are Beni. You are a child of Hashem.” Borei Olam (Creator of the world) looks at you as my son, my daughter, as my child. Just like a parent—a father and a mother—will rebuke and sometimes afflict and bring punishment on a child purely for his benefit, it comes from pure love from the parents, from his father.
So too, Shlomo HaMelech says, do not be angered. Do not be angry with your father in heaven. Do not be disgusted. Do not despise Borei Olam’s actions. Do not question Borei Olam’s discipline. Realize that Borei Olam is your father. Borei Olam looks at you as Beni, my son. We all know very well that every parent loves his child more than he loves himself, and no parent will ever want to afflict his child with unnecessary pain. The pain he brings to his child is only beneficial. He knows that it will serve a good purpose for his child.
So too, Shlomo says, we must remember that Borei Olam is our father. For Hashem only admonishes the ones that He loves most, and those are His children. Borei Olam will sometimes bring affliction and suffering on a person. And yes, it may happen that despite that person’s great generosity, and despite that person’s good deeds and righteousness, that person is afflicted, that person suffers, that person is in tremendous pain. Shlomo HaMelech says, do not despair. You must know: Ki et asher ye'ehav Adonai yochiach (For Hashem admonishes the one He loves). Borei Olam admonishes and brings this pain only on the ones that He loves.
And then Shlomo HaMelech concludes and says, Uche'av et ben yirtzeh (And like a father, He appeases his child). The rabbis explained this to mean that just like a loving father will always appease his child after being forced to punish him, the father will go over to his child and give him a hug, give him a kiss, show him extra warmth, extra love, just to appease him and let him know, “The punishment that I had given you was out of pure love because I care for you,” the commentaries say. This is what Shlomo HaMelech was telling us: Borei Olam will do exactly the same. Hashem will appease His child, a person who will receive only goodness after Hashem’s punishment, in order to please that child who has just received Borei Olam’s rebuke.
So Shlomo HaMelech is teaching us that when a person goes through a difficulty in life and almost feels that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is angry with him, that Borei Olam is attacking him from all ends, from every front, Borei Olam seems to be punishing him, and Borei Olam seems to be afflicting him and bringing pain upon him, he starts to feel angry. He feels that Borei Olam is just acting harshly toward him. Shlomo HaMelech says that this is a terrible mistake. Borei Olam says, “My dear child, it is I, your father, who loves you.” It is a father who truly loves his child who admonishes him, who rebukes him, and who sometimes punishes him.
But in the end, says Shlomo HaMelech, you will see Borei Olam. He will come and appease you, give you his hug, give you his kisses, and Borei Olam will tell you, “My dear son, I am pained by the fact that I had to bring upon you what I had brought. But you have to know, it is for your benefit. It was for your good. You will never understand it. You can’t comprehend it. But take it from me, I, your father who loves you, I am telling you that this is what’s best for you.” And therefore, says Shlomo HaMelech, a person must always remember when he is going through difficult times that this pain is coming from Borei Olam, who is my father and I am his child.