We continue our series on family life through the lenses of Mishlei and the wisdom of Shlomo HaMelech, alav hashalom (peace be upon him). Today, we will be discussing a Pasuk (verse) in Perek (chapter) Chaf Bet (22), Pasuk Vav (6). Shlomo HaMelech says, “Chanokh la-na'ar al pi darko, Gam ki yazkin lo yasur mimena.” That means: “Chanokh la-na'ar,” train the youth; “al pi darko,” according to his way; “Gam ki yazkin,” even when he grows old; “lo yasur mimena,” he will not deviate from it.
In this Pasuk, Shlomo HaMelech is teaching us one of the most important lessons, if not the most important, in principle in raising children and educating students. That is: Chanokh la-na'ar, train the child al pi darko, according to his way. What this means is the following: Every child has to be raised as his own individual. Raise him and educate him according to his intelligence, his personality, and his love and passions. Every child is born with interests and passions that he naturally gravitates to. Therefore, it is the job of the parent and the teacher to channel that child's natural inclinations in a positive manner, bringing about the best in that child.
No two children are the same. No two students are the same. Each child and each student is his own individual. Each child has his own strengths and his own weaknesses. Therefore, the parent and the teacher have to recognize each child with his own strengths. Make sure to bring about the best in that child, utilizing the kochot, the strengths and the talents that Borei Olam (Creator of the Universe) blessed that child with, to bring them about and to make sure that the child produces in the best way possible. Our expectations of one child should not be the same for the other child. What we see fit for one child is not necessarily fit for another child. What we think will work for one child will not necessarily work for another child.
Chanokh la-na'ar al pi darko. Raise your child. Educate your student al pi darko, in accordance with his way, his talents, his wisdom and intelligence, based on his personality and on his strengths and weaknesses. With that, says Shlomo HaMelech, a person will be assured that when that child gets older, gam ki yazkin lo yasur mimena. Those teachings of his parents and the teachings of his rabbis and teachers will stay with him for life, to make him the best child that he can be. Have a wonderful day.